and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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