I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
