It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
be right there i have to get my cape
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
