RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
