no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
