D3 body, D1 cock
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize