My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
