I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
