Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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