I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
