Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
