Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Is it penis luge time yet?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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