whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize