If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
