have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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