Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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