i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
