I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
