dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
