my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
