she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
