erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
