My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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