i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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