I CAN MOONWALK!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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