i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
