my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
