i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
