I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
