I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
