i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Randomize
