My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
