Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
