i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
