I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
