I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Damn victory sex feels great
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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