she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
