You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
