I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
