Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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