people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
