East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
