I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
