i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
