This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
