I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
