I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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