Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
