SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
