My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
