I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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