Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
