I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
