matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
