I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
