Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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