DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
