that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
