i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
