Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
