absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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