It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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