fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Your penis caused this!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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