She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
