One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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