Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
