i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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