I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize