At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I wish I only lived at night.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
